# The Æsthetic Auction; or, The Earl of Rack-a-tack

One day Earl Jack of Rack-a-tack
Made appearance at an Auction
To spurn a rival was his end
(A certain Earl called Mac)
By showing he had more to spend
Revenge was his concoction.
For Jack the Earl of Rack-a-tack
Hated the Earl they called Mac
Revenge was his concoction

Once Earl Mac of the county Milfold
And Rack-a-Tack's Earl, for leisure,
Had dined with rich Berliners
When Jack found he lacked his billfold
So Mac covered both their dinners
Which caused Jack great displeasure.
Paid for by the Lord of Milfold
'cause of a forgotten billfold
To his very great displeasure

Shown up before their foreign guests,
Lord Jack would henceforth endeavor
To show himself richer than Mac
"Outbidding", said Jack, "Attests
That riches I do not lack
By any means 'so-ever!"
Embarrassed before foreign guests
To his wealth he attests
By any means 'so-ever

"Priceless" said the auctioneer
"Is this next treasure"
Though covered was this artifact
Beneath a clothe veneer,
It's size was visibly compact
Though of identity beyond measure.
Priceless, said the auctioneer,
Was the lot 'neath that veneer
Though identity none could measure.

"Five hundred!" said Mac (speaking in pounds),
But Jack knew he could beat him,
For proud was he innately.
"Can I see Six hundred" the auctioneer hounds
Thought Jack, "I can beat that greatly".
So "Eight hundred!" Jack cried to defeat him.
"Five hundred" said Mac (we speak in pounds)
"Six hundred" the auctioneer hounds
Yet eight hundred will defeat him

And so it went, the price soared high
Beyond what each had brought.
Each Earl called for his squire
and told him he should try,
(Though this plan would back-fire)
To sell off the Earl's lot.
As the price grew high
Each squire would try
To sell off his Earl's lot.

To the market each man ran
As per his master's request.
Selling sheep and pig and cattle,
Chairs, tables, sofas, and the divan.
And once there was no more chattel,
His home in the South West.
Around the market each ran
Selling the chairs, tables, and the divan
Even his home in the South West.

Each surrounded by a dragon's horde
Of banknotes from the sales
At last one man relented
For Mac could not afford
To best the sum presented
And Jack at last prevails.
Though each man had a dragon's horde
Another penny Mac could not afford
And so at last Jack prevails.

At once a lady removed the veil
Revealing the treasure to be a pot,
(She wore Æsethetic dress),
The sort Painted blue and pale
Which you see a rather lot
Did that Earl now posess.
The removal of the veil
Revealed a pot of blue and pale
Which Earl Jack did now possess.

“Oh, how art is priceless”
Declared the Æsthete,
But to Rack-a-Tack’s Earl
Nothing could suffice less
Than the words of this girl
(He expected gold of high caret).
Tough art may be priceless,
This pot would suffice less
Than gold of high caret.

“Ha!” scoffed his adversary
With derisive snigger and sneer,
“This is your just desert!”
As he left in spirits merry.
So Rack-a-Tack’s Earl stood in the dirt
Staring down a life quite austere.
Jack bested his adversary,
Yet Mac left in spirits merry
Leaving Jack quite austere